Thursday, July 5, 2012

I Want To Get Married But My Boyfriend Doesn't - 3 Steps On How To Deal With His Fears


I Want To Get Married But My Boyfriend Doesn't
I want to get married but my boyfriend doesn't.   

Is this something you have been saying to yourself over and over again, and yet you are at a total loss for how to handle this situation?  Have you been sitting on the fence for what seems like forever, wondering if your boyfriend is ever going to pop the question?
Do you wonder why it is taking him so long to propose?  Finally you thought you had found the man of your dreams and you are both head-over-heels for each other, yet somehow there seems to be something holding your boyfriend back?  Do you wonder what it could be?



There could be many reasons why your boyfriend doesn't want to get married yet.  If you haven't already,  it might be time to have a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend in terms of how you feel about marriage and why he is unable to make a commitment to you.  Here are some areas that you need to address with him.


This has to be the most common reasons why a guy does not want to get married because he feels he is not ready to make that long-term commitment.  Underneath he may feel that he is not ready to give up his independence and he may feel that the two of you are not financially ready.  Whatever the case may be, it is up to you to address his concerns and reassure him that everything will be o.k. in the long run. 


How Does He Feel About Marriage?

Pick the right time, and gently ease him into the topic of marriage.  Talk about your future together in terms of where you see your relationship with him in the not so distant future and see what kind of reaction you get from him.

If you have been dating him for quite awhile, then it is probably in both your best interests to talk about your future together.  Some men get too comfortable in a relationship and they don't see the necessity in getting married.  Some would be quite happy to leave things as is, but if you really insisted that the two of you should get married, and convinced him of all the benefits of tying the knot then your man might agree to that as well.

That is why it is important for you to feel him out to hear what his thoughts are on marriage in general and where he sees your relationship down the road.


Find Out What His Fears Are

If you want to get married but your boyfriend doesn't, then you need to find out  what his fears are.  He might have very good  reasons for not wanting to get married right away.  Maybe he thinks that once the two of you get married, you will want to start a family right away.  Your boyfriend may want to have a few years together with just the two of you.  He might think that you will have very high expectations in terms of what kind of husband you want him to be.  Maybe this scares him to death. 

He might also be concerned by the fact that you will expect some big diamond engagement ring that he can't afford right now and an elaborate wedding.  If you want to get engaged but your boyfriend doesn't, then these might be some issues you will need to consider.  That is why it is so important to address your boyfriend's fears once he is willing to open up and discuss why he doesn't see marriage in the picture right now.  Maybe by addressing his fears, you will be able to set him straight on what your expectations are and what you are willing to live without for the time being.  


Give Him All the Time He Needs

Don't keep bringing up the topic of marriage because this could put him off completely.  Instead, give him time to sort through his feelings.  Once you have expressed how you feel about marriage and have conveyed to him all the benefits of getting married, then it is not necessary to keep bringing the subject up.  He knows how you feel and hopefully he will come around and realize that if he doesn't make some kind of commitment, he could run the risk of losing you altogether. 

If you want to get married but your boyfriend doesn't, don't be continually bringing up the subject of marriage.  You don't want to pressure him into agreeing to do something he is not ready to do.  You need to ease him into conversation about marriage and all the things you will both gain as a married couple.   Give your man the time he needs to sort through his feelings about marriage.  If you on the other hand apply to much pressure about getting married then he will feel that he is being pressured into it, and the decision is not really his.


Closing Remarks

In order for the relationship to survive long-term, I think both parties have to have the same outlook on where they see their relationship down the road.  If one person wants to get married because they want that commitment, whereas, the other is quite happy with the way things are then there is bound to be conflict and a possible break-up if both can't agree on wanting the same thing.
 
You need to be true to yourself otherwise you will end-up feeling like you are never going to get him to commit.  How to get a man to marry you should be anything but a struggle. The proposal of marriage should come willingly from your boyfriend.

If you want to get married but your boyfriend doesn't, there are better strategies out there that will help you turn your situation around so that your boyfriend will want to marry you without you having to back him into a corner. 

If you basically have a great relationship with your boyfriend and you don't want to destroy what you already have, then all you really need to do is learn the secrets that make men tick when it comes to relationships and commitment by visiting HowToGetYourManToCommit.com.



13 comments:

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